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Humans have been sanctifying their dead with significant objects since the paleolithic era. Our choice of grave goods can be very telling, either about the individual or the society in which they lived.

When you hear the words grave goods you might think of the ancient Egyptians with their elaborate pyramid tombs, gargantuan monuments like the Taj Mahal, or the famous golden death mask of Agamemnon, King of Mycenae. But grave goods aren’t just for the Ancients.

Even in contemporary society the objects we choose to accompany our dead are hugely important to us and it is a decision that many of us will have to make at some time. It might be as simple as choosing a preferred outfit or favourite flower but each item tells a story about the identity of the person who’s passed away and the people they’ve left behind.

We show how much we treasure someone by burying or cremating them with their most treasured things. It might be a football, a CD, family photographs, a fishing rod, wedding rings, medals of valour, or a beloved novel. Symbolically, these actions help us accept death and soften the loss. We acknowledge the change in relationship brought about by death by parting with these objects, just as we must part with a loved one.

If the idea of having a frank conversation with your loved ones about death is overwhelming, talking about what you want to be buried might be a good way to start planning how to say goodbye. Being prepared for when the time comes can lessen death anxiety and even support the process of bereavement.

If you need more help starting a conversation with your family and loved ones Palliative Care Australia has created the What Matters Most discussion starter booklet and card set.

You can access the What Matters Most discussion starter card set here.

You can use the What Matters Most discussion starter booklet alongside the card set, here.

These resources are also available in a variety of other languages, here.