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Brigid Russell lost her husband Jim to lymphoblastic leukaemia four years ago. In this video she talks about his death and how it feels for her to live with grief and bereavement.

Brigid tells us there are reminders of Jim everywhere not just in the big dates like the anniversary of his death, and that it is easy to for other people to focus on just the loss, or the death of the person. What is harder to understand is that bereavement is so much more. 

“Of course I lost the person that I love, but I also lost my sense of identity as his wife, as someone who is happily married, and I lost our life together,” she says, “It’s everything that I had together with Jim.”

Brigid goes on to say that the thing that has helped her grief the most was simply being listened to. 

“Being able to talk really openly and naturally about Jim and about our life together. And when I do that I’m not looking for solutions or advice, or fixing, or pity,

“What helps more than anything is for someone to sit alongside me and simply listen.”

Palliative care volunteers know a thing or two about just sitting and listening. Being able to hold space for their clients is a big part of what they do.

It’s good to be reminded that even if you feel clumsy or awkward at times you can always make a valuable connection just by allowing people the space to talk and by really listening to them.

Listen to all of Brigid’s insights by watching the full video. Access The value of listening: A life shared (7 min, 32 sec) created by the NES Bereavement Education Programme Team by clicking here.