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If you ask volunteer managers, many will say they feel the crushing weight of loneliness in the workplace. Usually, volunteerism falls under the leadership of a singular person, and the folks who stick with the role for a long time are often extraordinarily talented – and of course they are, they wear a tonne of hats as volunteer manager. It’s not all schedules and polls; they are coaches/teachers, HR professionals, philanthropy officers, relationship builders, community advocates, mediators of crucial conversations… all these things and more under the umbrella of a single job title “Volunteer Manager/Coordinator.”

Volunteer managers are often the only ones with established relationships with an organisation’s volunteers and sometimes the only one aware of the impact volunteers have on an organisation’s success and reputation in their community, as well as volunteers’ capacity to do even more to achieve an organisational goal. It can be easy to feel misunderstood or unappreciated in these circumstances.

When you’re already feeling isolated, accepting feedback from a superior who you feel doesn’t understand you or your work can trigger a fight, flight or freeze response due to painful feelings of criticism, frustration, loneliness, and perfectionism. Perhaps you’re feeling isolated in your role because you aren’t part of a grander team or feel like your role doesn’t fit the goals of the team you are part of, feeling like your work is going unnoticed or misunderstood and you’re taking it personally.

Here are some tips for handling your painful feelings when isolation and loneliness are defining your time at work:

• Know that your feelings are valid. It’s okay to take some things about your work personally, in life you’re going to spend a lot of time at work and experience all kinds of emotions. But also keep a separation of work and personal life and define your character more by your personal life.
• Acknowledge and give space to the feelings of frustration, loneliness, sadness, or anger. Do this with yourself in advance of potentially draining conversations with your colleagues. When you acknowledge these feelings, and give a place for them to be, the painful feelings won’t have as much power over your choices. Don’t suppress these feelings, they can serve you well if you can channel them productively.
• Have a work-bestie! You need support in all aspects of life, and having someone you can share your feelings with that you trust can be very healing and can help you productively express what your superiors need to hear.
• Learn to let some things go. You often can’t control how others see you and the work you do. but you can control your work ethic, and the way you treat people. Own your shortcomings and celebrate your accomplishments so that you gain fulfilment from your work within yourself.
• Reach out to your peers in other organisations. Participate in Volunteer Manager networks and communities of practice where experiences are recognised and shared by the group and support can be found.

The NSW Network of Managers of Palliative Care Volunteers meets quarterly. The next meeting in on September 2. For more information please click here.

This article was adapted with permission from a post written on LinkedIn by Turlough Myers.