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Christmas is often described as a season of joy but for many people it can be a tender, complicated time. When you’re supporting someone with a life-limiting illness, or grieving someone you love, the holiday season often looks and feels very different.

If this season feels heavy, please know there is nothing wrong with you. You are human, and you are not alone.

Why Christmas can feel difficult

Even when you’re surrounded by love, the pressure to “be festive” can be overwhelming.
Common experiences include:

• Holiday traditions highlighting who is missing
• Feeling tired, stretched, or emotionally flat
• “Firsts” without your person
• Songs, scents, foods, and decorations bringing up big emotions

Grief and caring don’t pause for Christmas, and it’s okay to honour your feelings.

What Grief can look like

Grief shows up in many ways, including:

• Feelings: sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness
• Physical: exhaustion, poor sleep, tension
• Thinking: trouble concentrating
• Behaviour: withdrawing or staying overly busy

Mixed emotions are normal. You can miss someone deeply and still have moments of joy or laughter. One does not cancel out the other.

Gentle strategies for the season

Acknowledge your feelings: Let yourself feel what you feel, name your feelings and give yourself permission to feel them.

Set boundaries: You are allowed to say no. Choose what you can manage, leave early, or skip events that feel overwhelming.

Plan ahead: Identify what might be hard, choose which gatherings you’ll attend, and have a support person or quiet space available if needed.

Simplify traditions: Keep what comforts you. Change or pause the rest. It’s okay to do things differently this year.

Look after your body and mind: Eat, rest, breathe, move gently. Go easy on alcohol. Caring and grieving are exhausting, be kind to yourself.

Create meaningful ways to remember your loved one: Share stories and memories of your loved one, light a candle, hang a personalised ornament, cook their favourite holiday dish, or visit a meaningful place.

A final thought: 

If this Christmas feels different, harder, or heavier, please know that your feelings are valid.

Take things one day at a time, know that triggers are normal.

Reach out to someone you trust and let others help you. Share how you’re feeling. You don’t have to carry grief alone.

Also remember you are allowed moments of joy without guilt. Grief is a testament to love, and love does not end.

You are not alone, stay connected.

Support Services

If you ever need extra support, these organisations are here for you:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Carer Gateway: 1300 459 190
• Your GP: Ask about a Mental Health Care Plan
• Palliative Care Team: Many offer grief and carer support
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
• Grief Australia: grief.org.au | 1800 642 066

Grief Australia also offers two gentle webinars on coping at Christmas, you can access the recording here:

• Navigating the Christmas season while grieving (2024)

• The Longest Night, the Brightest Light (2025)